Why should I talk to people? I have Facebook.

My ex got married and I found out on Facebook. He wasn't a recent ex, and not even a really serious one, but still, the age-old stereotypical female responses welled up once I saw that status change: Why not me? Was I not good enough? What's wrong with me? How will I afford to feed the hundred cats I'll eventaully have when I'm a bitter, wizened, single recluse in a few years?

Thankfully, my feminist shoulder fairy quelled those questions, calmly reminding me that had my ex proposed then, now or anytime, I would have said no. That's why he's my ex.

This left me open to a few more interesting questions. For example, when viewing his wedding photos that he oh-so-classily posted on Facebook, I had to wonder ...

Did he always look so stupid? I don't remember him looking that stupid when we were togther. Will I too start looking stupider as I get older? That line of questiong always leads to something petty, usually said in a high-pitched, nasally voice, so we'll just leave it at that.

I switched yet again to a new questioning: If it wasn't for Facebook, would I give a damn if this dude got married? Would I even know? Why on earth am I cyber-friends with this guy anyway? Apparently, despite my constant efforts, Facebook has warped even my concept of friendship to transform pixels into a replacement for human relationships.

More often thant not, for me Facebook serves as a painful life comparison of loosely connected people. This comparison often leads to questions like the ones I raced through before. Why aren't I married? Why wasn't I invited to that party? How did my cousin get to grad school before I did? I like to think that this says a lot about Facebook, but it probably says way more about myself. If it wasn't for the "What Are You Reading" application, I'd give up the whole thing.